"I Had a Baby": Three First Steps in Healing Birth Trauma
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Over many years of practice, I developed an approach to help families heal from difficult births. Our training program for professionals addresses the layers of experience a family has when getting pregnant, carrying a baby, birthing and after the baby is born.
Our program has been so successful, we wrote an ebook that can help you get started healing right away. We recommend an appointment with Kate, a member of her teaching team, or one of her graduates or colleages. The three steps are outlined below and are in the attached pdf. Online Ebook: "I Had a Baby": Three Steps in Healing Difficult Births |
Step One: Map Out Your Strengths and Layers of Support
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Draw the concentric rings like the example above and begin to fill in those layers of experience. Start with resources - the things that have helped you. What does this look like? Here are the rings of experience and what to consider:
1. Preconception: What was your life like before you conceived? What helps you feel strong, empowered, loved, calm, peaceful? Make a list. 2. Conception: What was conception like for you? What were the wonderful moments? Tell yourself the story. Make a list of the conditions that helped you around the conception of your baby. 3. Pregnancy: What has helped you during your pregnancy? What are the good moments? Who are those who have been there for you? What happens in your body when remember these resources during pregnancy? 4. Birth: What are your resources during birth? Was there a nurse or a practitioner who was really there for you? A space that worked for you? Just focus on what worked, and notice your body. Especially when things don't go as planned, make sure you list what helped. Notice your body. 5. After birth: What helped you after the baby was born? What are the most magical moments? Just notice what happens in your body when you orient just to what worked, not what is not working. |
Step Two: Write It Down
After you have mapped out your resources in the layers of experiences, the next step is to write down your birth story, especially the negative parts. We have found that women will carry their birth stories their whole lives, some women never talking about the most painful parts. It is a huge weight.
Step Three: The Holding Healing Story and Messages of Repair
Families need a way to make sense of what has happened. My experience has been that much of the time it is not possible to assign responsibility for the difficulties that happen during births. Therefore, I work with you to create the space for that kind of repair. When you come, I affirm the challenge and say messages that providers sometimes need to say: "I'm sorry." "That was not okay." "That was very challenging, and you are a hero." "Your birth was a triumph." Because it was. All births are triumphs and an amazing testimony of our human spirit and commitment to life.
Enjoy our Ebook. It has video explanations of seeing a baby tell their story and how to make messages of repair. You can download the pdf here.
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